Post reblogged from The Absolute Funniest Posts! with 22,015 notes
Mom: are you ready to leave
Me: yeah hold on
5 minutes later
Me: Okay I’m ready
Mom: Okay, but first I have to curl my hair, walk the dogs, watch Gone With The Wind, read this novel, cook enough food for the entire continent of Africa, run a 5k marathon, write out my life story by hand, cure cancer, and take a nap
Source: anrdew
Post reblogged from Me against myself with 7,069 notes
reblog if you love ＳＡＣＲＩＦＩＣＩＮＧ ＹＯＵＲ ＦＲＩＥＮＤＳ ＢＥＦＯＲＥ ＴＨＥ ＡＬＴＡＲ ＯＦ ＳＡＴＡＮ
You know, the life of a Satanic lesbian. ;)
Source: thedismembermentflan
Audio post reblogged from deep in the meadow with 116,217 notes - Played 588,908 times
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
this is seriously my favorite post on tumblr
why
crying
i basically stopped breathing in an effort not to scream loudly in the public computer lab i’m sitting inif you don’t press play you are missing out
i’m crying though
Source: fuchikoma
Chat reblogged from The Melodious Nocturne with 98,574 notes
- romeo: hey i just met you.
- romeo: and this is crazy.
- romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago.
- romeo: so marry me maybe.
Source: eowyning
Photo reblogged from The Melodious Nocturne with 81,884 notes
Literally my fave thing about the USA is how we said “fuck your redcoat language” when England acted stupid and made weird changes like dropping the U (and other stuff)You’re all freaks. We rebeled for a reason.There is no “U” in Freedom.
Its called English and not American for a reason. Get with the U America
Exactly!!!!!!
And this is a biscuit
and this is jelly
and these are called crisps
Get it right
yall wasn’t talking all that shit when we whooped that ass back in the 1700’s
step to us one more gin see don’t we do it again.
Don’t forget who had your back during WWII.
have we all conveniently forgotten who else uses the u?
HAHHAHAh poor Canada
Source: youknowyourebritishwhen
Post reblogged from Get up and Run with 201,824 notes
Alt + Ctlr + reblog sign(double click) = boom!
I love it when Tumblr folk find new ways to explore this wonderful site lol.
Source: iloveyourhumor
Post reblogged from click for more with 24,326 notes
hey
have you guys ever realized
the brain named itself
Source: onewillpass
Post reblogged from Awesomephilia with 37,295 notes
If it actually started raining men I think I’d just start crying and be really terrified and not leave my house and just curl up into a ball and pretend I couldn’t hear the slamming of bodies falling upon my roof under no circumstances would I think “hallelujah”
Source: theresavoidinmypolaroid
Photoset reblogged from Too Philipino To Phunction with 54,473 notes
DON’T BE SCARED
Source: butlikeisraeli
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